About the Series
I do not live-tweet. In the good ole days of 2017, I tried my darndest, but, boy, did it make me anxious.
I also do not recap & review as many Hallmark movies as I’d like. Once again, in the good ole days of 2017, I somehow put out one or two of those puppies a week. And now? Well, LOL.
So, if there is a Hallmark movie I enjoy but don’t have the time or energy to recap in full, I’ve decided to compile a list of thoughts and reactions I would’ve had if I were cool enough/less stressed out enough/confident enough to live-tweet them.
Let’s begin with a synopsis, so my tweets aren’t just floating in space without context—
Synopsis of “Snowkissed”
Once upon a time, in a magical pandemic-free 2021, there is a woman named Kate who is planted in Manhattan. She has a goldfish named Harold, is a freelance writer for a magazine, and never ever ever ever leaves NYC. One day her boss tells her she must travel to Banff, Canada to write an article about her hero, the author of her favorite book THE ANSWER (yes, like the answer to life 🤨). She is horrified to travel, but is promised a staff position if her article is a hit. And this is where our story begins—
Noah owns a B&B in Banff with his friend, Simon (who is an enigma wrapped in a riddle and glasses). It’s been going slow, so they are hoping to expand their business to include tours of Banff. Problem is: Noah isn’t great at public speaking. As you can guess, Kate, and her photographer, Jane, find themselves staying and Noah and Simon’s B&B.
Jane falls in love with Simon the second she sees him, while Simon just wants to play chess and eat expensive chocolate. Noah and Kate reluctantly fall in love while helping each other out with their respective projects and overcoming fears.
Kate has lived her life based on the idea of acceptance—accept where you’ve been placed, your talent, and never want more! When she finally interviews the author of THE ANSWER, he tells her that he realized his philosophy was hogwash and laughs it off like hahaha can’t believe you didn’t realize that on your own after being brainwashed by my words.
Of course, Kate starts questioning everything because, duh. After writing the article, she kisses Noah at the top of a mountain and then gets her dream job. Also, Simon reveals that he actually likes Jane, and they start dating even though they live over 2,000 miles a part. Kate reluctantly moves back to Manhattan, but even though she has everything she thought she always wanted, she is sad.
Long story short, Kate travels back to Banff to confess her love to Noah. She is going to move there and work remotely and eventually marry him. They kiss. Everyone’s happy. The End!
A Fake Live-Tweet of “Snowkissed”
Oooh, #Snowkissed, eh! Kiss in the title promises for lots of kissing 😉
jk, I LOATHE watching/hearing people kiss. Reason 3 of 50 of why I love Hallmark movies.
Sure you can imagine how much of a nightmare Bridgerton was for me.
(WHY ⁉️ WERE ⁉️ THERE ⁉️ SO ⁉️ MANY ⁉️ BUTT ⁉️ CRACKS)
(I swear I saw inside one and I didn’t ask for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All I wanted from Bridgerton were pretty dresses, longing suppressed glances from across a castle, and a mystery that had no murders involved!)
The last two tweets were still about Bridgerton, not about this Hallmark movie. Hahahaha can you IMAGINE.
Okay back to our regularly scheduled G-rated programming!
Lol she’s telling the cab driver the route to take like she was Kramer drawing up maps for the fire station.
(I’ve been watching a lot of Seinfeld lately.)
(You know how everyone is like “I’m a Carrie” when they’re talking about SATC? Well, if we’re talking about Seinfeld’s NYC, I’m a George.)
She’s going where? To Bamf? Like BAMF as in bad a**—you know what? Nevermind.
OH, Banff. Okay, that is fine. Canada. Good.
OMG, and this guy’s name is SIMON. Duke of Banff. I can’t escape Bridgerton no matter how hard I try.
(My main problem with Bridgerton is that Daphne is E-V-I-L and we’re supposed to love her.)
Beautiful that these Canadian actors are allowed to sound like Canadians 🥰
Okay, so Kate’s passport panic attack is not fun to watch because this is how I feel 50% of the day.
Honestly, watching someone be super anxious and then other people not take them seriously is horrible and I’m very frustrated!
(For context, I have debilitating OCD and it’s miserable!)
Once again, back to our regularly scheduled G-rated supposed to be relaxing programming!
But, wait, you’re expecting me to believe a woman that has never left Manhattan has a passport…………
Noah is a burger puncher!
Noah orders ketchup. Kate orders truffle aioli. And LET ME TELL YOU do I have a rant about that for another time!
Ok. Let me get this straight. At this SUPER nice B&B, you must share a bathroom with other people? And Kate is seen as ridiculous for not liking that. OK. OKAY.
“What do you call a floating man? Bob.” Oh, this guy, Noah, is alright in my book! (I genuinely cracked up at that Laffy Taffy wrapper joke.)
Losing it at Kate’s late-night-end-of-the-day-I’m-exhaused bun. If only you could see how dumb my hair looks in a bun—at any time of the day.
Bold of this guy to call his book THE ANSWER and it’s about how to live your life!!!!!!
I love how clueless Simon is.
Outdoor bonfire hot chocolate!
I genuinely want to move to Banff.
I also genuinely want to go snow-shoeing!
All of these movies have a “o u think im charming? ;)” scene. And the other person is like “no ur so gross i legit h8 u.”
WOW, Jane is coming on strong.
Is Simon that clueless, or is he just not that into her?
Oh man, remember that book/movie, He’s Just Not That Into You? I remember being like, fun movie, but this definitely doesn’t apply to me and this guy that I’m chasing after that won’t give me the time of day 🙂🙃
“Yeah, that’s a good idea—get separated out there in the wilderness…idiots.” My husband being very patient while watching this snow-shoeing scene.
When they’re at the top of the mountain and Kate’s like… “Do you hear that…listen closely…” because she’s happy to hear nothing but for us the background music is just what they play very loudly when you’re on hold with customer service 😂😭
What is this Banff Public Market! Like are these just little booths of free samples? Like a ritzy Sam’s Club! Why am I not there? How do I get my membership?
Simon is a fancy Mose Schrute. No, I won’t explain it further.
I love this green Jeep! So much!
“They’re too dangerous.” —my husband killing my Jeep Life spare tire cover dreams because he thinks it’ll roll. You know what I’m rolling, my eyes right now, that’s what I’m doing.
I used to drive HIS JEEP all of the time, btw.
Okay, we’re at the big moment. Kate is about to meet her author hero of the book that she has based her life around.
The Answer? More like Organize It 2: Engage with Zorp!
Yes, I am saying that THE ANSWER is a cult.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOW DID SHE NOT KNOW HE ABANDONED THE ANSWER PHILOSOPHY TWO YEARS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is so detail-oriented, so into research…I do not understand.
The only way this makes sense is that the author of THE ANSWER was like…yeah this is total nonsense, but I still need royalties, so I just won’t let other people know.
Wow, so he’s the only one who gets to have a fulfilling life! What a villain!
At least the Zorpies own up to their mistakes and then just recalculate and plan the end of the world party for another day.
Watch Parks and Rec on Peacock so you’ll get this reference! (#NotAnAd because I don’t even have Peacock.)
This guy’s book was all about accepting your situation and not needing/wanting to change. Kinda seems like he trying to control society and keep everyone in their place while he is quietly taking over the world.
Isn’t acceptance the last stage in the 5 Stages of Grief? Hmmm. This could be something, it could also be nothing.
SNACK BREAK: I need one, I’m questioning too many things. I’m going to make myself some Eggos.
Omg, while I was toasting my waffles I realized that #Snowkissed is a play on sunkissed and I’m sorry. But, don’t try to fire me because I don’t get paid for this. Jokes on you, this domain costs me money.
You know what, I guess I wonder why Jane likes Simon? He’s giving her nothing!
Oh, yeah, I’ve been that girl before, nvm.
I don’t understand what Simon’s doing with his glasses? On then off, off then on. Pick one, buddy!
Okay Simon created springtime in the mountains for Jane 😍 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“NO-WA, I don’t like Noah!” I hope that was on purpose.
And 5 minutes later she kissed him! 😉
I actually got a little pitter patter in my heart when they kissed and I think it’s because I want Noah to be happy lololol.
He is a wonderful character. Definitely my favorite Chris McNally role.
Just Wikipedia’d McNally to make sure he’s Canadian and I found out he’s related to Get’cha Head in the Game singer Drew Seeley!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wonderful!
!WAIT! Drew Seeley WROTE Get-cha Head in the Game! Wikipedia is a gift. Perhaps I should consider donating $3 to it because if every person donated $3 they can stay ad-free. “The price of a cup of coffee is all they ask.”
(Wow, I’m being a turd today. Migraine medicine makes me difficult.)
Okay, back to your regularly scheduled G-rated programming where these B&B guys are trying to make it as a tour guide company too.
The tour with the bigwigs went well! They are about to get a lot of tourists at their 15 bedroom 2 bath B&B.
The boys’ place is so busy and there are so many people in this B&B right now and I am worried about the amount of bathrooms this place actually has.
I guess B&B stands for bed and breakfast, not bed and bathroom.
Katie’s article was a hit and now she has the job she’s always wanted but now she’s just sad and not eating at her bagel stand and getting bumped into by jerks loudly calling her a TOURIST.
And she’s like…I am a tourist now…….
Katie made her big gesture as Noah was about to make his big gesture!
They’re in love, they kiss, THE END.
Did I like this movie? Probably. I was VERY mad how they used anxiety as the main character’s ~quirk~ at the beginning of the movie, though they thankfully departed from that after awhile. However, I was interested the entire time, never bored, was super curious what was up with Simon, and wanted Noah and Kate to work out. Also, Banff was g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s, and a lovely backdrop. When it’s safe to travel again (currently on quarantine week #4568), I want to go there! Even though the aerial tramway at Ober Gatlinburg made me forget how to breathe, I enjoyed it after awhile. So, I would still definitely do the Banff gondola. The views would be worth it.
What did you think of #Snowkissed? Or better yet, what did you think of Bridgerton?
Me: Daphne and Simon’s relationship was toxic and the nudity was gratuitous.
Everyone else: SHUT UP ANGELA.